There are times at work that we might feel like the people around us do not want us to succeed. You might encounter employees who challenge your authority or peers who steal all of your innovative ideas and sell them like their own. The truth of the matter is not every challenge you encounter is worth your time and energy.
We all know this practice will require strategic balance, and to be effective at choosing our battles, we must learn to be cautious regarding what we allow to disturb our peace. We spend too many hours on issues that are either not that important or just for the sake of what we refer to as “the principle.” “It’s just the principle.” However, we must seek to have edifying conversations with the people we work with to understand and bring some resolve. If this is not possible, then seriously, let it go.
Here are four practical ways to stay away from workplace conflicts:
Be supportive to your peers, whether you like them on a personal level or not
Try to make yourself available to be supportive. We have to recognize that some people are self-righteous in their stupidity. If we were to be completely vulnerable with ourselves, I am sure there are times when each of us has been bullheaded and steadfast and utterly wrong. I can name a few times early on in my career where I was stuck-on-stupid. Some people need all the support they can get even if they make bad choices or go about things the wrong way. You don’t want to cause a tense relationship between you and your peers. Instead, you want to cultivate and nourish these connections so that when there is a battle (and trust me, there will always be a battle of some sort), others won’t see you as an adversary but rather a concerned ally.
Learn to have hard conversations when you are less emotional about them
It is ok to have a “cooling-off” period to collect your thoughts and gather concrete, rational examples for your argument. As you become comfortable addressing conflict with respect, you will ultimately find no need for substantial emotional investment. This will save you a lot of time and energy.
Ground yourself
You don’t know everything, and sometimes you have to let go and let people fail or watch them win. Be open to feedback and new experiences. All experiences, challenges, and direct conflict do not require your immediate input. Step aside and occasionally observe, especially if you are new to your position and are still learning your coworkers’ personalities. Either way, if you take the right stance, you will either be there to catch them when they fall or drink sparkling cider when they win. Determine which battles you are willing to take, when to stop
challenging and surrender, and when to keep pressing forward. Don’t pressure yourself if you don’t get it right the first time. This is a journey, not a sprint. Keep moving towards your goal of perfecting healthy conflict resolution skills, knowing when to step away, and protecting your light.
Do not allow others to take your kindness for weakness
I am not instructing you to walk away from every hard conversation there is. It requires the opposite of you. It is the way we handle these situations that differentiates between the winners and the losers. Look for the win-win in situations. Strive to let people know how you feel regarding work performance, expectations, and general boundaries for respect in the workplace without attacking insignificant battles that focus on small, often hypothetical scenarios.
You might be thinking to yourself, “No, some people just get on my nerves” or “Uh, uh, some people have to know their place.” You are correct! Healthy conflict is appropriate in the workplace if it falls into this one simple concept; Whatever point you are arguing has to add value to both parties, not just yourself. If whatever you have to say or whatever you want to do is not beneficial, perpetuates a disagreement, or reinforces your desire to be right, you are better off walking away from it. If you cannot help with a situation, at least don’t hurt the situation or make it worse. Stand by, and get ready for the good fight.
For more information about navigating the workforce, download Visible: A Woman’s Guide to Unleashing your Full Potential in the Workforce today!
